Hubby say me I m a hot temper person after give birth more worse. Last time my toddler cry I will try find a way out wat went wrong n solve it. But now I will scream when she don listen n sometimes smack her too hard. I think my neighbour will think I m mad after beat her sometimes I will like break down n cry wit her. I feel very vexed n frustrated n nobody at home n frens r normally busy or work so nobody I can talk. Even my granny start to nag more than 2X I bui tahan liao I got tell myself I MUST cherish her but I cant control. Kindly advise mummies thanks

Hi beancurd,
If I'm not wrong u stay in Sengkang or Pungol? Maybe u wanna go see this GP, Dr Lim from Seng Kang Medical Centre at Compass Point. I was very miserable & down during my 1st few mths of preggie. When I tell my gyne, he's actually not so concern as he said my emotions are common among preggy mummies. But I happen to consultant this GP on some sleeping pills & she ended up listening to all my worries & complains. She feels that I'm having mild pre-natal depression & she's concern that if it not controlled now my depression will spiral downwards. She was very patient & give gd constuctive advice, unlike my gyne who just sweep it aside. She actually thinking of refering me to a pschictrist if I'm not feeling better. I'm really greatful to her, I'm feeling much better now.

I think you should talk to her in case u're getting into depression.

Thanks but I doubt I not tt serious la I juz need someone to chat too n a little advise given. If I take sleeping pills nobody can take care of my toddler liao.

do u feel beta now?

Feeling much better but how can I grew to learn to b more patience to my loves one?

Vendy, I always tell u to be more patient with Zann but to tell u the truth, to be patient is very difficult. Especially when they r at this stage, wanting to do everything on their own & refused to listen to us. Haizzz..... Just dun give urself too much stress & enjoy ur time with Zann. Keep ur COOL!!!

Seems like u understand me more hehe...... Yes I know I even remember Elicia words cherish them now when they grew up is different liao but I juz cant control myself. U r more patience than me I can say, especially I keep telling my relatives they all don spoilt her. She seems spoilt liao n don really listen to wat I say now

we as parent must be more patient and yet not easy but we still have to do our best to keep it one thing i can share with u is thru my xperience not to beat them. At thier age, they may mistaken tat using beat can solve the problem, if i not happy i can beat u, if u din follow my instruction, i can beat u too...etc..

At time, when my mum just went back to Msia, afterwork i gotto fetch ds from cc n preparing dinner. Ds will make alot of funny actions just to gain my attention when i busy with cooking...i reli stress out with his screaming, crying, and throwing his toys, ...i will scream back to him n follow by beaten him:( i'll break down n cry with him too Things get worst, he start to beat me when he cun get wat he want, and i rec'd many complaint from his cc teacher tat he beat his frens. I really stress out... Got once i even beat him with a hanger, he is my son and just 2YO at tat time, how can i did that to him

I start to tell myself cun let it cont if not one day i sure gone crazy. I promist myself not to beat him anymore, i shd use soft method on him. I explain to him patiently what shd n shdnt be done. Starting quite diff lor as i too hot temper type, when i abt to lose control, i faster take a deep breath in, cool down n then continue to talk. Its reli work i tell u, as least its work on me lor. Now I will listen to what he wants, if is ok i will encourge him to do it and explain to him why it can't be done. So far so good lor, no more beating between me n ds, no more complaint from cc too. i must jia you n keep it up too

We as parent of coz can more or less understand what're thier mischievous motives, so from there think a beta way to handle the problem rather then lost our temper. And also it is part of the growing stage, when they get elder n understand more, thing will turn beta too. jia you Vendy, Zann is still young, be more patient n communicate with her, dun be supprise that she is actually a sensible child and she will be a good gal and not do smtg tat upset mummy. By then, everything is fine to you, nothing can reli make u lost yr temper liao

I m really touch when I read, no more beating?I scare I cant cos I may nt b good in teaching her. I will give myself another try I hope I can do it I really wish I can. Another thing is hubby is nt supportive enough n he don encourage me too he think i not in stress but I cant tolerate Zann. I totally agree wit wat u say ' At their age, they may mistaken tat using beat can solve the problem, if i not happy i can beat u, if u din follow my instruction, i can beat u too...etc.. ' So I will give myself another shot, thanks alot for ur help.

yayaya..my hb also got said tat i just cant tolerate jarvis he so kiang rite so i dun argue with him lor, i just leave jarvis to him during his offday, let him taste it himself. One thing he beta den me is he wun beat his son lor. He is on rotating shift one so he is not everyday at home lor so i'm still have to handle jarvis alone myself.

Slowly lor, i'm also v hot temper type one, even now i will still have to keep reminding myself not to beat him, must control...cool dwn... i still remember the 1st time when i was suscess in using 'talk' method n ds listen to me hor i hapi like wat It is reli a great motivation for me.

If we said our kids noti hor, did u watch Supernany every thu ? if compare, we reli v fortunate liao as least we still can control our kid, thos cases in Superanny reli beyond parent control one.

Cammy u good sia!!! I agree with u!! Beating will not solve the problem, it will only create more problems!!!

So PARENTS out there!! Try to TALK & reduce beating!!!

i not tat good lar, learn from mistake only

I know kids tend to be stubborn, n a fren learn a new method fr super nanny. So i m trying it out now. By de way how do I teach her some basic manner when we go dine outside? I sometimes really bui tahan even I say her nicely she still stubborn.

SHifu..I also wan to learn from u liao!! Cos i also beat jayde sometimes when she reli veri notti...pengz....muz ren....muz control my temper!!

think of my pretty face lar den u will cool down liao

sayang vendy...

this patience thing is not easy to master esp since u are alone to take care of ur bb.. sometimes, no time to even pee or have a sip of water (talking from experience) yah, though alric still young but he's quite a demanding bb and stubborn and strong-willed! haiz.. sometimes, i almost lost it.. sanity!! i will alm down.. take a deep breadth and smile at him again! haha...

as he gets older, think i will face the issue of whacking or not, dh oppose to it, me too! will defintely try to refrain from it!

vendy.. and all mummies, when things get tough.. STOP and THINK of the happy and cute times of ur kids.. mayb it will help..

JMHO

by the way.. long time no post here..

hihi to all mummies!

Will try to TAlk n no more beating..But sumtimes cannot help it....then how??

Be Patience!

Then walk away!! Walking away to calm down rather then u do something really very STUPID that u will regret later!!!

My dear Carol u MIA ah? miss u.........
Sometimes it can't be help when she is too stubborn to listen I more frustrated. Even I try squat down n talk to her when she did wrong, she will listen than later less than 3min she forget n needs to remind again(pek chey ah). Mayb u all can say me I not a good teach'er but I m still trying.

think at this age is lidat one ba, coz me too have same exprience leh, reli pek chek lor sometime tis min i just finished my word niah, next min he come again, that time i also lor, beat him or shout at him So now i can tell u lor, this way is not workable one Peggy is right, WALK AWAY TO CALM DOWN ! !

aiya..the debate of 'love teaching' or 'body teaching' is always no win-win de.

1. if ur kid likes to play wif electric plug, can u jus walk away if he dun listen to u aft u tok wif him? more dangerous rite? so the only solution is to make him scare of the thing. u canot electricfy him to let him no tt this is the danger of the plug, so how? cane is out lor.

2. if ur kid likes to jump off the stairs at the 2nd or 3rd last steps, instead of walkin down properly, how? u walk away aft tryin to tell her the danger but she dun listen? so let her fell n learnt her lesson the hard way?

sometimes beatin is needed to warn them serverly abt the danger of daily life

I will make sure tat the environment is set in such a way that ds is allowed to do whatever that he can do, and taking away things tht he isn't allowed to. Distraction can be used when need to get away from a forbidden thing or place. At time i ever give him a unuse plug to play morever kid v fast to divert interest one, after a while only he sian liao

I will let him jump n warm him that if he fell n cry dun come to me, i wun sayang him and at the same time perpare to hop him if he reli fell This is what i did when he refuse to walk properlly, but normally after he heard "i will not sayang you" then he guai guai liao

sighhh..i wish hengheng is as gd boy as Jarvis. he left ear in, rite ear out. only aft fall down or his fingers caught in door, den he com to me n ask for kiss kiss sayang. but for 1wk or so, he will rem his lesson NOT to touch the door. aft 1wk, he cannot resist the temptations n start playin the door again, but this time, u will c his fingers all close together

ai ya, Jarvis is not so gd boy as u think lar, just that he elder then heng heng and can understand more only. my stage as u over liao niah but now i got new problem also mah, he will talk back

Jansey same same

toddler's stage..in a blink of an eye, they will b able to tok back to us liao lor

will a 2yo remember that his parents beat him/her?

my ds is able to repeat 'da wo' (hit me)
and he even says he dun want me.
really saddened by his remarks.

Yes they will when my ger forget n wee wee on de flr she will cry n say Mi Mi beat at point to her hand when she does dis it make me so heart pain n only say her n tell her I wont beat her n remind her only. Sometimes she even will point to herself say 'ohh ohh' Mi beat n point to her hand when I show my angry face. Kids nowdays r smart

yap, they rem.

my son din tok yet. but when we say 'hand ley' he will put out his hand n we beat his palm. aft tt his face 'black black'.

when we outsider see tis is cute his face black black

cammy, for me is 'ku xiao bu de'
wan to sayang him but cannot!!